You know how they say it’s lonely at the top? How come nobody mentioned how lonely the climb up the mountain was gonna be too? AND HOW FAR?
This solopreneur/momboss thing, it is actually REALLY tough sometimes…a lot of times. Add to that the fact that 2017 has been slooooowwww for me, I have been asking myself some serious questions about my life, my worth, the value and quality of my work, and everything I have spent the last 8 years building.
Being in business has been both the best decision I have ever made and the stupidest thing I have ever done to myself. Many days I wake up asking myself “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING” – it’s generally way more explicit than that, but I’ll spare you for today.
As much as I love the unexpected in my work, I haven’t been dealing well with it in my life. I LOVE walking into a client’s home for the first time and discovering ways to use light and space in my images and finding new and creative ways to make their images beautiful, but I really don’t like not knowing where my next client is going to come from. It’s both amazing and so scary to be an artist and not have the security of a stable paycheck…especially when the phone isn’t ringing quite as much as it use to.
2017 has me looking inward and trying to figure out why I’ve been feeling like I’m on this intense emotional rollercoaster. One day loving my work and the next day wanting to trash everything from my portfolio and start over, or move on and away. The inferiority complex has had me real good this year.
So, finally, I got out of the haze this year has been pulling me into and I decided that I HAD TO take control of my life again, the way I did that day 8 years ago when I declared that photography would be my new life path and I took the greatest leap of faith.
Where did that girl go? Where did my faith go? How could I keep doing this alone? How could I believe in me again?
WE ARE NOT ALONE…
It’s taken me far too long to realize it, but I AM NOT ALONE. There are thousands (or more?) of us mom/photographers trying so hard to make a go at this and listening to all the million different opinions on how to do it and how we’re doing it wrong while watching everyone else’s highlight reel scroll by as we fall into a trance of Facebook and Instagram feeds and all the other platforms the put-together people are rocking.
Is everyone amazing and confident and established but me?
I can’t possibly be the only one going through this? Can I? AM I??
Well, no one is talking about it.
Facebook tells me that for everyone else, everything is awesome.
So maybe it’s just me.
Or maybe it’s not.
Either way, I decided to figure out this road I’m on and try to understand where I am right now and how to survive and thrive through this. I figure, writing it out, maybe I could help someone else too. So, here I am, releasing it to the universe and beginning to create my new path and future.
SO, this blog, Heart + Lifestyle, is going to be a little about heart and a lot about running a lifestyle family photography business. But mostly it’s going to be a merge of both those things. I hope you’ll join me here as I journal my path to making my business as great as I know it can be and hopefully helping you do the same.
I think we can all be epic, but doing it together will make it even better.
Follow to make sure you see the next blog where I am going to talk about the plans for Heart + Lifestyle and how you can be a part of it. I would love for this to become a collaboration of passionate hearts….And, if anyone actually read all the way through this, please leave a comment, a note, a share or something to tell me you’re in this with me and that we are not alone 💛